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The green eyed monster

Jealousy is a sign of insecurity

%E2%80%9CNo+one+has+the+right+to+control+anybody+except+themselves%2C%E2%80%9D+said+South+Mountain+High+School+prevention+and+intervention+specialist+Dr.+Ann+Miles.+%E2%80%9CJealousy+can+turn+to+anger+and+violence+in+the+blink+of+an+eye.%E2%80%9D
“No one has the right to control anybody except themselves,” said South Mountain High School prevention and intervention specialist Dr. Ann Miles. “Jealousy can turn to anger and violence in the blink of an eye.”

“No one has the right to control anybody except themselves,” said South Mountain High School prevention and intervention specialist Dr. Ann Miles. “Jealousy can turn to anger and violence in the blink of an eye.”

Courtesy Google Images

Courtesy Google Images

“No one has the right to control anybody except themselves,” said South Mountain High School prevention and intervention specialist Dr. Ann Miles. “Jealousy can turn to anger and violence in the blink of an eye.”

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If the green-eyed monster has ever appeared in one of your romantic relationships, you are not alone.

Jealousy is when one person doesn’t trust the other person and doesn’t want them to have relationships with other people.Whether their platonic relationships or not,” said South Mountain High School student prevention intervention specialist, Dr. Ann Miles. “The person who’s jealous likes to have control.”

“When I feel jealous, I keep it to myself at first. I act like it doesn’t bother me but it does. I stay quiet and act in a distant way and it can be seen as childish too,” said South Mountain High School senior Jesus Lopez. “I don’t bring it up until I know I can’t hold it in anymore. By then, it’s typically close to getting into an argument with my partner.”

Another senior who doesn’t want her name to be used in this article admits to grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming out her lungs when she feels jealous.                                                                                                                                                                               

“I’m a really emotional person,” she said. “You always gotta keep in check whatever you’re feeling because you might say or do something out of anger that you’ll regret.”

So what causes the feeling of jealousy to arise ? James Park who is an author of several books on love & relationships explains there are three factors that cause jealousy: comparison, competition, and the fear of being replaced.

“Jealousy is arguably the root of all problems in a relationship,” said Lopez. “If there’s one thing I would go back and do differently is to decide to vocalize any jealous feelings instead of waiting before the issues emerged. The last thing you want is to argue with your partner.”

Miles further explained that jealousy is not a sign of love, it is a sign of insecurity.

If you find yourself in a relationship like that, you really want to take a look at how healthy the relationship is for you and how healthy it is for the other person,” said Miles.”And maybe turn around and run real fast.”

It is also important to acknowledge that many abusive relationships are the result of extreme jealousy. The person who is jealous can turn controlling. Red flags that signal unhealthy jealousy are when a partner starts to dictate who you can or cannot associate yourself with, the clothes you wear, as well as the activities you participate in.

“No one has the right to control anybody except themselves.”said Miles. Jealousy can turn to anger and violence in the blink of an eye.

However, in some cases a little jealousy is normal and can be fixed simply by communicating honest feelings.

“The sooner you can own up to your jealousy, the sooner you and your partner can get past it and possibly fortify not only your trust in each other but the strength of the relationship as well.” said Lopez.

Get help.

If you are suffering from an abusive relationship as a result of extreme jealousy or are receiving threats from your partner, please contact the Maricopa County Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. You can get one-on-one confidential help and support.

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The green eyed monster